🔗 Share this article

On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “detached from reality”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you think, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are often succeeded by a “crash”, where he feels overwhelmed and embarrassed about his behavior, making him highly sensitive to disapproval from those around him. He came to wonder he might have NPD after researching his symptoms through digital sources – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. However, he is skeptical he would have agreed with the assessment if he hadn’t already reached that conclusion by himself. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And that world is like, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what the term implies the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains a leading researcher, who believes the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people conceal it, because of significant negative perception linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through behaviors including displaying material goods,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people found to have NPD are males, studies points out this number does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is under-identified. “Men’s narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who discusses her NPD and borderline personality disorder (BPD) on digital platforms. It’s fairly common, the two disorders are comorbid.

First-Hand Experiences

“I really struggle with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she shares, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into a defensive state or I withdraw entirely.” Even with this response – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and take advice from her support system, as she aims to avoid falling into the harmful behaviour of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she reveals. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she says she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of positive role models during development. I’ve had to teach myself all this time what is and is not appropriate to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance as a kid,” she shares. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

These mental health issues tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Heredity is a factor,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “rely on those identical strategies as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve good grades and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he admits. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with feelings. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Following an appointment to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been proven effective NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: The estimate was it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his condition, because “prejudice is common that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, personally, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the growth of online advocates and the rise of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number